Computerlove™

August 24th, 2008

Ok. For serious...

Billboards are everywhere, everyone has seen a movie poster before, clearly these things exist, which means that they had to be created by someone. Someone was responsible for airbrushing Nicolas Cage's face for the 'Next' poster, someone doctors up those images of Arby's sandwiches before they are slapped up beside the freeway for everyone to see. Large documents are not uncommon. So it should be safe to say that there is some information out there on how to work with images of this size. The last few personal prints I've been building have been set up for A1 size paper, I set the document to 300ppi and away I went. After an hour of working on the piece, saving is taking upwards of ten minutes. And I'm not using a slow computer. I did start saving the files as .psb format because, yes, they are over 2G. However, this save time is really starting to get to me. Not to mention any time I want to move an element on the page, or resize an image.

I didn't think that 300ppi was too ambitious for this size of image, and I'd rather not change it as I'd like to keep the quality up.

If anyone has any insight on how to more efficiently work with rediculously large documents, feedback would be appreciated. I can't imagine that someone working on billboard ads simply puts up with snail paced development.

August 17th, 2008

Put the 'Twit' in Twitter.

I don't know what the big deal is with Twitter. I understand that there is a 140 word limit to your posts, and that users are able to follow other users posts. I also understand that it is meant for people to post small updates on the things they are doing throughout the day. Now, I'm sorry, but the last thing that I need is the obligation to let everyone know when I'm working on a project, when I'm watching Dexter, and when I'm doing anything else throughout my 'relatively-boring-for-anyone-other-than-myself' day.

Usually I consider myself an early adopter with these kinds of things, but this one seems a little over the top for me. I was even a little sketched out about the whole facebook thing until I realized that it was a really great tool to keep you in touch with everyone. Which was followed immediately by graduation from university, and a massive decrease in the amount of interest/time available for reading about peoples current 'moods'. I just don't know how much personal information I want to publish anymore. My blog posts have become increasingly infrequent, and it's not because of my busy schedule, it's because I don't think people need or really want to know what I think. Usually I don't care what many peole think unless it interests me professionally.

There is just so much information floating around today, it's really overwhelming, how much of it is really necessary? As I mentioned in my previous post, I spend a lot of time online researching designers, applications, and social network developments. I read several designers web journals, and frequent many creative tutorial and portfolio sites. These things interest me, and they keep me up to date with what my favourite creative people are doing. Del.icio.us can keep me busy for hours, following links, and learning about whatever is out there. But it gets to a point where it's just too much.

Recently Go Media announced that they are going to start answering design questions (save of course the ever prominent "what's the easiest way to make something look really good, with minimal effort and or talent?") on Twitter. Aside from this, I really am having a hard time figuring out what Twitter does for people that makes it so popular. Unless it can put me in touch with creative professionals worldwide, I don't know if it's worth my time. And even if I'm in touch with these people, I would like to have a two sided, intellectual conversation with them, not just let them know that I'm heating up a bagel.

July 26th, 2008

star dot star

Lately I've come to realize that I am more than a little bit addicted to the internet. I find that much of my time is dedicated to following links from delicious and other hub sites researching news, blogs, and lately, anything to do with productivity. Yes I realize the irony of wasting time researching productivity, but more often than not I find something that makes getting work done a lot easier. This morning however, I made a find that I really feel compelled to share. Check it out here. It's an absolute genius of a solution. Simple and effective.

Another newly found addiction has sprouted from the abundance of open source software I've been finding. Being fed up with shit like the incessant ads all over my messenger program, and endless bugs in audio software, I've actually managed to replace some of my main programs, with open source alternatives. A few of them include:
Open Office.org
Musikcube
Rocket Dock

The updates to this journal have been few and far between. Lately I've been questioning the worth of anything that is mentioned here. A friend told me that a web journal is really more for the author than it is for public consumption. But if it's just for my own entertainment, I can probably just keep all this prose in my own head. Most of the journals that I keep up to date with offer some sort of educational benefit, which makes a lot of sense. I think that people enjoy reading about things that are going to improve them.

Lately my activities have included work and more work. Since school stopped, I haven't stopped creating. I've been having a hard time drawing the line between enough work, and enough play. Lately I've been finding it easier, and more satisfying to stay at home and work instead of going out and being social. My roommate is moving, which means that I get an office, and therefore, the opportunity to concentrate on more work. Soon I'll start posting this stuff, and actually get together a proper collection of pieces.

April 22nd, 2008

Tomorrow I'll be...

What a crazy world we live in. Nobody ever knows what is going to happen next, and we all spend so much time trying to secure the future when we don't even know that we're going to be around for tomorrow. Going to school, saving money, staying healthy, planning for tomorrow, that might not matter when it gets here. There are so many uncertainties, and so many things that are unknown, yet, people thrive. When you're a kid, you feel so secure in your parents house, knowing that they are going to take care of you no matter what happens. You'll be alright. But then you grow up and it's realized that, things are only alright if you make them alright. There's nobody there to protect you anymore, and you realize how uncertain, and always changing the world actually is. You think back to your childhood, and realize that your father was just another person, trying to make his world alright. You happened to be a big part of that world, so naturally, he made sure that you were alright. And that's how it goes. Nobody really knows what tomorrow will bring. But we do our best, and the world continues on it's course.

I see people around me, and I'm still relatively young, so I see people who are older than me. People I consider more 'adult' than myself. And they seem as though they don't even worry about uncertainty in life. Things like whether or not they'll survive until tomorrow, or whether or not they'll have a job. Perhaps they are aware of these uncertainties, but they simply choose not to worry about them constantly (probably a wise decision). I wonder how another individual, in the same position as myself, being just as unsure about tomorrow as everyone else, is able to find such a peace about these things. How these people can go through life seeming like they never give it a thought. These people just seem, indifferent to all of it. "If something happens that is unexpected, well I'll just deal with it when the time comes." I'm amazed at the people I meet who have far more responsibilities than myself, be it a mortgage, a spouse and kids, or just high expectations to live up to, who can simply deal with problems when they come, and not put a constant, fervent effort into planning for the future.

Although I've been told time and time again that I'm someone who IS that way, someone who will continue to grow, no matter what the circumstances, I really don't feel like I am. More often than not I feel like I'm scrambling to the next base, and just barely making it there.

With all the things that could happen, and all the security that gives life comfort, it is easy to want to put as much of the worry in the back of your mind as possible, Take for example a job situation. Many people feel there's a certain sense of security working a specific job. Even if that job lacks excitement and the challenge of constant change, they know that a job will be there tomorrow. I'm talking about working at any entry-level, brainless job (and there are lots of them out there). Then take someone who is self employed. Making their money by doing just that, making it. Going out, getting the jobs, and completing them. There may be times when there is less work, and times when there is more work, but somehow they manage to survive, keeping their family alive, keeping bills paid, the house standing, and warm, while remaining happy, and for the most part, stress- free.

It just seems like it's a lot of financial weight to put on a job that isn't necessarily 'steady', a job that is a lot less 'guaranteed' to be there. I mean I'm sure your local department store isn't going to fire you if you show up every day, and continue to do the same mundane shelf stocking you've always done. There's your guaranteed paycheck, so long as you come to work. However, running your own business takes more than just showing up. A lot more, and if you don't do it properly, well it's you and your family who are hungry.

People that do this amaze me. And I don't know if I have to be forced into that situation to overcome a fear of failing, or if I just have to one day, say that I'm going to do it, because I know that I'll be okay.

Maybe that's the key, the point might not be that I feel like I'm constantly scrambling, Not that I'm barely making it, the point might be that whether by an inch, or by a mile, I'm still making it.

February 17th, 2008

And this is what I'm left with.

I see myself never slowing down, moving as quickly as I can. I constantly feel like I have no time, nothing can happen quickly enough, the things I learn, the things I accomplish, it all seems to be happening so slowly. I am always conscious of time passing, and the speed with which it does so. The other day, I was having a talk with Liz and she mentioned something about what we will be doing five years from now. The question reminded me again at how quickly my life is tearing by. I thought of five years from now, and everything that I want to have accomplished by then (and there are a lot of them) and it all seems impossible. From where I am right now, a lot of these things seem like insurmountable challenges, and the clock is ticking.

In the past, what I've realized about these situations, is that once you're doing what it is that you were so apprehensive about, it becomes clear that the situation wasn't as uncontrollable as you'd first thought.

One thing that put all this into perspective was taking a look at people around me, and their situations. People often tell me that I have a good head on my shoulders, and that I'm going to go far in whatever I do. (whether or not their opinion id valid is beside the point) But I look around at other people I know, and I see few people who are concerned about any of these things. I don't see any amount of concern for the future. Most people I deal with daily seem to only be concerned with today, and tomorrow. This provided me with some comfort about my situation, but then again, you need to realize who you're comparing yourself to. It's not hard to measure yourself against something small, making you look like everything is great. I find it more beneficial to measure myself against giants. Perhaps this is why I always have more to do than I feel is physically possible.

January 9th, 2008

Heavy lies the crown

I wonder how things happen. Things that I have absolutely nothing to do with, things that I would like to have something to do with in the future. How do the people meet, how do the phone calls play out? what emails are sent? What exactly happens? I've always thought that the ultimate success would be to speak at the OFFF conference. For years, since I first heard of the event, I thought that it was just such a great idea. People getting together all around this topic of design. I'd look at the roster of people speaking, some designers I knew of, some I didn't, but I always really looked up to the participants, and to the event itself. It always inspired me. Now I find myself wondering about how it all comes together, How does someone actually end up speaking? What do the emails say? How do the phonecalls sound? And If I still do want to be there one day, what steps need to be taken.

In the more realistic light of my ever-growing experience however, I've begun to realize how much work it takes to put together an event like that. How many people are involved, and what the whole thing is actually made of. I look less at the glamour on the front end, and more at the organization, and planning of the back end. Even with things like videos I've seen, and amazing flash projects (lets not forget everyones old favorite, evilpupil) I still find it amazing, seeing the finished product, but I can't see that anymore without thinking about the shooting, re-shooting, cutting, editing, reviewing, coding, sketching, designing, printing, proof-reading, the list goes on. Because my outlook is more informed, and a lot more realistic than it was five years ago, the conference is still a goal, but it's less of a glamorous one, it's more of a challenge. Now I realize that these people who I have heard of, speaking at these gatherings, really had a lot of work to do before they got there. Not only did they need to become a great designer, but they needed to hone their skills as a public speaker, they needed to actually have something to share with the audience, they had to arrange the time, and the length of their presentation, develop the reels, set everything up, run the programs, pack the bags, and buy the plane ticket. It's less about being a 'star graphic designer' and more about being able to get all of the work done.

I believe that once I figure out all the steps needed to get to that final product, like most things I learn, I'll look back and say 'well yeah, that was obvious'. Right now, from where I'm standing I really have no clue, but I guess you don't know what you don't know.

December 9th, 2007

I don't read your blog. Ever.

So I get an email the other day letting me know that theres a poster contest for a local car show. Usually there aren't many entries to these types of things, plus the prize is 250 bucks, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Although I had a load of schoolwork and a logo design underway for a friend, I figured i could make a few hours to spend on an entry. Long story short, I get an email on Friday telling me I've won. Effing yes. I start thinking about all the music I'm gonna blow my prize money on. It wasn't till the next day that I realized that there was something far more important to me that deserved my immediate fiscal attention (did you like that one?). I decided to purchase some software instead of blowing my cash on albums. I've come to realize that it's usually a better idea to spend money on things that can be used creatively rather than 'stuff'.

I spent around three hours the other day organizing my del.icio.us account, I've got to say, that system has a bit of a learning curve to it. Going through all those links, I stumbled upon some interesting stuff that I had forgot about. One of these thing being the Daft Punk film 'Electroma'. If you're in the mood for a long, sprawling, artsy film with absolutely no dialog, and scenes that trail on like a Kubrick film, give it a watch. I'll admit that partway through it I started working on a project, out of boredom. But I kept the movie runnign on the side, and I watched it all the way through. Definitely a cool flick, it's surprising to see how many different emotions can be evoked without the use of words. Scenes, colors, situations and score tell the whole story, and they do a fantastic job. (by the way, speaking of Kubrick, I watched Dr.Strangelove the other day, what the hell was that all about? Realistically though, it wouldn't be a true Kubrick film if I didn't get to the end and go "umm, what?". I mean maybe I'm missing something important here, If theres some information I've overlooked which causes me to misunderstand these films, please, let me know.)

Last night I went to the theatre to watch No Country for Old Men with Charles. It looks like the Coen brothers have done it again, the show has a great story line, and the characters were very well cast. Plus it has one of the coolest villains I've seen in a long time.

This week has been dedicated to finishing my final project for the semester. I find it interesting that although all my other friends are in courses where 5000 word essays are an everyday occurrence, and exams are about as traumatizing as a car crash, I'm the last one to finish before Christmas break. I had originally planned to spend my time off working on illustrations, but I don't know how much time I'll have for that seeing as I'm going to to be working full time again. Alas I need to earn the extra cash in order to fund this holiday debauchery that has replaced Christmas.

November 9th, 2007

Ziploc

New ideas happen every day. Great ideas that I didn't think of. There's so much creativity in the world. How do people manage to constantly create beautiful things and not get stale? Not to mention, how do people do these really impressive, wildly innovative, avant garde designs, while keeping up with crushing deadlines and clients that change constantly? Sometimes It's all I can do to get a product out the door on time, and make sure it's what the client needs, make sure that it works for them. Never mind create something totally new and cutting edge. I wonder how people do it. Is it just practice? Being in business for a long time? Is it finding clients who are looking for something new and different? Clients who demand it of you, instead of just 'make it look like this one.'

I think it has a lot to do with designers making the best out of any given project. No matter what the problem is, the design solution can be interesting and fun. Really? Is this true? Or is it something that is often repeated, and never actually investigated? Lately I've been finding that there are really no bad projects. But there are sure a lot of them that aren't good. There is the odd one or two that are really fun. Like reallyfun. But for the most part, they're just average. Now people have told me that only bad designers say there are bad projects. Maybe only mediocre designers say there are mediocre projects.

I think that what I'm starting to realize is that design is more work than it seems. I mean I've seen all kinds of great stuff created throught the years by artists that inspire me. But that's just it, all you see is the finished product. The end. You don't see the client meetings, the software problems, the filming, the editing, the long nights, and the frustration that goes into these. You see the happy little finale. Which is fine.Nobody wants to see that middle stuff. That's not what design really is. (Not for the end-user anyway). But for us, that's really all it's about.

I once heard someone say "It's not about the glory, it's about the grind". I really think that this is true. And I always knew it, but I never really knew it. Now that I'm well on my way, I'm knowing it more every day, and I'm fine with it. But it just amazes me that throughout all the real world stuff that swirls around the design itself, some of us are able to create truly innovative, inspiring pieces, at the same time dealing with budgets, gantt charts, workflow, meetings, and syntax errors. I hope to arrive there one day, once i figure out the business side, I hope to be able to truly create freely within those necessary constraints.

October 3rd, 2007

This just wrecked me. I think it says it all.

US Senator Robert F. Kennedy

On the Mindless Menace of Violence

City Club of Cleveland, Cleveland, Ohio
April 5, 1968

This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity, my only event of today, to speak briefly to you about the mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.

It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours.

Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr's cause has ever been stilled by an assassin's bullet.

No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason.

Whenever any American's life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.

"Among free men," said Abraham Lincoln, "there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lose their cause and pay the costs."

Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire.

Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.

Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.

For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.

This is the breaking of a man's spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all.

I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered.

We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this, there are no final answers.

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is not what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of humane purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again.

September 28th, 2007

"It's crossfire, wild eyes. Crossfire."

Turn down the music, the noise stopped. I'm pretty sure they're gone. It's alright, contiunue.

What is really necessary? What is needed to move forward in life? We're told that these things are important, We're told that these steps need to be taken. But in the end who's really right? Is a passion enough to allow you to succeed? I'd like to think so. Beyond some basic education sure, wait, no. In very few cases I'm sure even the obstacle of no education whatsoever is overcome. I sit here, at two in the morning, in a design lab, at a university, where I'm supposed to be putting together the pieces of a web page that will make up ten percent of my final grade. For a teacher who is currently taking like six courses of their own. Someone who is too busy to spend any time with students all week, save of course the few frantic hours on the day the assignment is due.

I attend classes learning the odd thing here and there. The last time I really learned something substantial was the typography course I took last year. Aside from that it's been a shortcut key here, a Photoshop trick there. Not to say that I know everything there is to know about graphic design. I'm far from that believe me. But the things I feel I need to know aren't being taught. The things I need to learn are taught at work, with real clients, real projects, and real situations. Not in a classroom that simply urges me to read a book, or take an online tutorial that I could just as easily do from my living room. Not to say that people haven't tried to teach me, and done a great job, some of the teachers are fantastic. But I really think that the material is missing what I need. Anything that school is going to give me I could learn myself from a book, and some practice. The real world experience is what I'm after right now. Instead of staying up till two in the morning doing hypothetical assignments, I should be at home studying of my own accord. God knows it's cheaper. I should be drawing, becoming the master illustrator I've always wanted to be. I should be learning actionscript, something there IS no school for (at least not in this town).

All this for what? A piece of paper that says I sat here, for all these hours, doing projects that I didn't really believe in? Paying money to teach myself when the instructor is nowhere to be seen? No thanks. A piece of paper that really anyone could earn if they're willing to sit through the classes and go through the motions? I want to create something I'm proud of. Something that I love. I want to feel like I've accomplished something real.

I think that real men and women get to the place they want to be by sheer will. If you don't know how to do something, and you need to overcome an obstacle, you just do what it takes, and move on. You dont do what other people tell you. Because nobody knows you. Nobody knows what you're like, or what you're capable of. Nobody but you. And if you want, if you need to get there, you will. Because if you want it as bad as you think, you'll achieve it, or you'll die trying. And that's worth something.

I was really fine for a while here. Going through the motions, attending the classes, doing my shit, paying my dues. But something just clicked inside my mind, and I realized that I have to make these decisions. I need to be foreward thinking. Am I going to look back on this course and say that I got something out of it? Or am I going to think that it was time I should have spent skething, studying on my own, or doing any kind of the self improvement activities I classify as 'leisure'. Im I learning? Or am I just doing what is expected of me? Attending school because it's what 'people do'.

I don't know if I'm going to drop any of these courses yet. I may just tap out of this decision, and go through the motions. Finish this thing off, there's only one year left. I do know that there's alot I have to learn. I do know that I'm not as good at alot of things as I want to be. But I really feel like these are things better learned through experience. I dont know. I'm at a crossroad here. As always it's such a hard decision to make when its your own. Other peoples problems seem so cut and dry. Because you're not in them. Right now, all school is doing for me is providing me the motivation to keep doing this, but the reason, why, is becoming less and less clear.

July 29th, 2007

It's not a big thing.

Sometime I feel like I'm not good at very many things. I go through these seasons where everything I create is lacking, or I'm not creating anything at all. When paired up against other people who really shine in certain areas, I can forget aboout the abilities that I do have, and focus more on the things that I cannot do, in the shadow of what others can. Sometimes. But tonight I realized that there's one other thing I know I'm really good at, even if its something that cannot be translated directly into a career or generate any revenue.
I will share this new found skill with you now.
Tonight Charles and I went on an adventure of sorts. We ventured downtown to Dennys to have some pie (apple pie, with cheddar cheese). Well, he did. I had water. Which, I've heard, has no fat in it. Once he was finished the pie, and 2/3rds through the coffee, he asked me if I wanted to go out to the Verse (a local all night truck stop restaurant) and try their pie. I agreed, being the crazy individual that I am. Before we left Denny's I saw a lady busily operating the "put in a dollar and operate this crane/claw thing to try and win a piece of garbage stuffed animal" machine. From time to time I see a scene like this that makes me cringe. Now I know that there's nothing wrong with these situations, but for some reason they make me feel kinda sick. They make me ask the question "why are there people around the world suffering and dying so that this person can enjoy freedoms such as vending machines, and stuffed animals". "Why do people have to starve somewhere else, so that right here, obesity can thrive"? Anyway This scene, prompted me to begin humming the tune to the song 'North American Scum' which Charles picked up immediately, and nodded. We hopped in the car, and started the drive up to the Verse. On the way, with the music playing (of course we were listening to 'sound of silver' at this point) I was paying close attention to the city lights and the atmosphere that was unfolding. I said that one of the greatest joys of life (as far as I am concerned) is music. I think Chuck mostly agreed. But I don't really know if he meant it as whole heartedly as I did. The stereo was just entering the climax of the song 'someone great' when I saw out the window, dark pine trees moving past the car. There was a rock face just beyond the freeway that was moving by. Streaking earthtone colors in the yellow glow of the freeway lights. Now in all this you're probably wondering what the hell I realized I'm good at. The car pulled to a brief stop at the top of the exit ramp, and I realized, that I'm really very good, at enjoying the small moments of life. I probably enjoy these weird little moments more than anyone I know. In fact I'm pretty sure that these moments usually just pass people by. I'm really good at having a good time in the middle of a totally normal situation. I can just get hit with a feeling of extreme happiness, and everything around me is in such great detail. It's very hard to explain what happens at these exact times. But it can't be captured by a photo, video recorder, audio sample or anything. It can't be captured by anything. I imagine there's a drug that makes you feel the same way for a little while. At the same time eating away at your brain, and not to mention it'll cost you alot more than it costs me. I'm really good at finding something beautiful in a normal flat, uneventful moment. I told you that it's not something tangible, but its those exact times that really make everything worth it.

June 22nd, 2007

Cut some paper, stick some stamps

Friday is sushi day. Carlo forgot his iPod at the office, so we listened to S-club on the way to the restaurant. He needed to stop at Future Shop to pick up a friend. At which point I walked in and purchased the new Amy Winehouse album, so that I didnt have to listen to continue listening to the club on the remainder of the five minute drive.SOO much video editing. This week has been full of Adobe Premier, and Illustrator. We're putting together a dvd of a conference that was filmed in Vancouver last weekend. And at home, I'm working on a couple vectors. I've been meaning to get out to a friends house for a barbecue, but it's been moved down on my priority list. The supplies for the wedding photoshoot have been purchased. Two extra battery packs, and a 4G memory card. (and a new hdd, which is just a little something extra for me) So I'm good to go. Liz and I are gonna take a trip out to Kelowna to see the locations I'll be shooting at and figure out the layout of the town. Getting lost when you need to be somewhere is for losers.

I'm really not to excited about school this year. I'm starting to wonder how much I actually learn there. Some of these teachers courses amount to no more than 'buy this book' 'read this book'. I'm on the verge of not going, and just teaching myself the rest of this shit. If I didnt get accepted next year I really wouldn't be crushed. In fact it may be a push in the right direction. Who woulda thought that after a semester of CSS and flash training, I still wouldn't know how to put together a webpage. I have learned alot at work though. This new job is really a blessing.as much video I have to edit, its what I want to be doing. There isn't too much creative work, but we're taking a different direction pretty quick here. So hopefully that'll change.

The other day at work, I was reading a book on Actionscript. And in a moment of what I thought was divine revelation, I threw the book on Carlos desk and announced 'eff web'. I continued to tell him how I'll never understand actionscript, CSS or anything web. And how I'm going to concentrate on getting better at print instead of picking away at this mountain called 'coding' (which is beginning to look alot like my old nemesis mathematics) After that Brett suggested that I just might not have the aptitude for it. But I think (after another visit to the FWA) that I need to really give coding a good shot. There's too much shit that I say I ''just don't have the aptitude for' I'm sick of it. Besides, unless I can do a bit of everything, I'll never get a job in this town. A jack of all trades is master of none. But unfortunately, the guy who is REALLY REALLY good at doing just one thing, can't get a job.

I'm realizing how many other things are needed to be successful in life. One of which is a certain attitude to new endeavors. As much as I used to think that I was one up on all these people I knew, I'm starting to see that there's more to a 'successful person' than I first thought. This wedding shoot is a step in the direction I want to be heading. Normally I would have never taken the job. Worrying too much about things that could possibly go wrong, instead of thinking about what is possible in the future. And if I've learned anything in the past few years, it's that most things seem scary, untill you DO them. After you break through initially, it doesent seem like such a moutain to climb anymore. I watched that short film that Rob and Chris put together, and it reminded me that people are still making beautiful things all around the world. People who are much busier than I am, are making time to do great work. i have the tools, I'm pretty sure I have the creative mind (somedays i really doubt it) I just fell like I'm a step away from greatness.

One last thing, the coupling of this whole 'Mayan calendar ending in 2012' thing, the themes on the new Nine Inch Nails album, and the intense storyline of 'Children of Men' I've really started wondering how close the end of the world really is. And how gruesome it will be. If the 2012 Olympics logo was any indication, it's gonna be . . . gross.